Author Aslı Erdoğan has been in Germany since 2018. After a trial lasting 5 and a half years, the writer, who was acquitted of the charges, says that she is dealing with serious health problems while also being excluded by PEN Germany.
In 2016, Aslı Erdoğan, a member of the editorial advisory board and writer for the now-closed Özgür Gündem newspaper, was arrested on charges of “making terrorist propaganda,” “being a member of a terrorist organization,” and “inciting the public.” After spending four months in prison, she was eventually released, and nine months later, she moved to Germany. During this period, she received a scholarship from PEN Germany.
In a recent interview with Avrupa Postası, Erdoğan shared her experiences of the time spent in prison in Turkey, her life in Germany, and the health problems she has been facing. She recounted, “I came here with only three suits. I didn’t even have a second pair of pants. Though I received a scholarship from PEN Germany, things didn’t go well afterward, and I am still in the status of a scholarship holder.” The author revealed that she felt excluded by PEN, and despite her illness, her scholarship was not renewed.
Regarding her health, Erdoğan mentioned that she never fully recovered after the four months in prison. She endured a brain hemorrhage and had to undergo intestinal surgery during that time. Reflecting on her illness, she expressed, “I feel that it has surpassed my strength now.”
“Our voices have been skillfully stifled in Germany,” the author says. She says at first she was receiving awards, her books selling well, and she was someone who generated a lot of money for others, but later, she felt pushed aside:
“I believe our voices have been skillfully stifled in Germany. Not like in Turkey, with beating, breaking, and throwing us into prison, but rather, our voices were more heard there. Here, we somehow adapted to the system. Now, I can say whatever I want, but no one hears it. It’s like I’m speaking to the stars. We’ve been cleverly manipulated. Despite receiving many awards, I am still struggling to obtain a residence permit with semi-tourist status.”
“I have entered a period of silence
“I knew I would write under any circumstances, but in the end, they silenced my voice. I know the time when I was defeated. There’s a breaking point that occurs in prison. Turkish was always my home. I never felt at home in Turkey, but I existed in the Turkish language. The first fracture began in prison. In prison, Turkish turned into the language of oppression, with court documents, papers, and orders pouring in.”
“Exile is an even greater fracture; only those who have experienced it can understand. I have been exiled even from my own language. I am far from my library. Everything I wrote in the last 20 years remains in Istanbul. Rebuilding them here is almost impossible. I’m also forgetting Turkish. Now, I speak and read more in English. I have entered a period of silence. In the past three years, I have been hospitalized eleven times. My scholarship ends in September, and my residence permit expires at the end of the year. If these issues are not resolved, I might be put on a plane and sent back to Turkey. I don’t have the energy to think about literature anymore. Giving a scholarship for a year or two and then leaving someone stranded is not the right approach.”